TRANSTITON.

The last days

of high school and it appears that everything is collapsing into one big heap. But not in a bad way, in kind of a manifestation way. And as things have fallen, they have been exposed.
Like I always wondered why people whip out their phones when they are by themselves. As if warding off any suspicion, like its okay, i'm on my phone. It's easily the most comforting thing do to when you are alone, why? Because by being on your phone, you are still in-touch with people, even though you are alone. Alone but not a loner. Clearly. Moreover, you seem cooler, because you are probs, actually deffs texting someone way more important/cool/hot/interesting than the people surrounding you. Especially when you have that self satisfied look on your face, or when you have sunglasses on.

Something else I realized was the magnitude of the compliment when someone asks you out and offers to pay for you. Think about it, you work for your money and are ready and willing to use it to give yourself a night out or whatever, people don't mind giving their money if they get something memorable in return. However, footing the bill for someone else is another matter. It is often out of obligation or 'duty' that people shout others. Or it may be that they are sa rich and money is a disposable thing for them. And they really, really wanted to point that out to you.
But in the case of those sincere offers, I think it means that the person really wanted to be with you. And like they pay for themselves to have the experience of you.
What a nice thought. Pity it only happens very very rarely.

Those are my only revelations for the moment. Hopefully there will be more in the course of the hardest month in my life so far and potentially ever. But all this commotion about VCE and graduating is making everything heaps clearer and in perspective.
I hope one day i'll read this and think I was over exaggerating because everything was fine.

Cross your fingers