Courtship wreck

Hi Skinny Minnies,
So anyway its formal coming up soon. Thats right, the fake tanned, false eye lashed monster that dominates day dreams of all year 12 girls. Possibly boys as well. Though in an unfortunate twist of fate my formal fantasies are not butterflies and anxious sublimity that resonates with formal.
Its a bit more like, shit. Shit as in shit I have no date.
This allows me, due to the increased 'independent' time on my hands, to ponder the question of the importance of formal (or prom) dates. Its human nature that draws people to one another, loneliness is probably the worst of the human conditions and hence why sociopath criminals are sent to drive themselves insane in solitary. Yet here I am, without a criminal record or an obvious and abnormal growth on my face and still without a partner.
Where to point the finger of blame? I suspect it is not a demand for males, as the majority of male population at my school remain stag. Similarly I doubt there are many who are "shy" or omit the social obligation to ASK someone. I fear, the real fault is the deterioration of this (now) pseudo necessity. The boys always ask the girls and thats the way it goes. This is unrelated to chivalry and not a marriage proposal, so what deters contemporary males from 'doing the deed'? Fear? Friends? Or the females themselves?
A phobia of rejection as a possible cause. Yes, it can be granted as an understandable source of negativity, but when remedied with logic proves irrational and textbook behavior of a pussy. Boys, imagine girls like spiders, more scared of [asking] you, than you are of it. Yep. This remains true and valid even after overhearing that sisterhood declaration of going all together as "friends", without dates and still managing to have an awesome night. Because, 9 times out of 10, things like that are LIES.
Girls need boys to have fun at events specifically designated for partners. Its like going to a pool party without your bathers. pointless, degrading and overall and unnecessary downer for the others. Even if there are 5 girls on the sidelines and seem as if they are all strategically partner less. They will shuffle around that venue with led feet.
If you are not a prick you can brace yourself for a big fat YES.
...One down, 2 to go.
The 'bros before hoes' friendship complex, this does puzzle me I must admit. Though I feel the immature antics of drunken boys obsessed with football may shed some light. Sources tell me of a "draft", wherein boys rank girls according to how hot they are, then allocate which boy has dibs on perusing the top, then the rest are allocated in succession. Although out of context, maybe this same technique is applied to potential formal dates?
Finally, the females. Is our condition the result of a terrible fault inherent in our own kind? Are we too picky and don't we smile enough? Despite being resolutely on the fence as each case study has a specific situation that is necessary to accommodate I believe it is us girls who deepen the chasm between dated and dateless. Tick too picky. Tick stand-offish. Tick intimidating. And this observation is made being one of the kind.

The upshot of all this is, single ladies don't despair. Although one is undoubtedly the loneliest number, it is probably the most common. I don't know how fun your formal might be as a single digit, but to avoid this try channeling all your negative energy into emitting positive vibes and smiling more. A bit of cleavage cant hurt either. Boys, lets not wait around for conscription.

In any case, Miu Miu has some supersexyminx heels circulating the catwalks that are worthy of your most potent and intense envy. But these are things you ladies can work toward. Don't give up dreams or day jobs... with the right price you can have both!
You know what they say... they're just jelous xx