What remains unfalsified, however, is whether the planes of present picking are are even playing fields, or the often considered universal notion that some of us either have it, or we are hopelessly and shamelessly disabled when it comes to offerings of merriment and affection.
It seems the latter is more true.
Sad but true. For both the giver and receiver of these forlorn attempts at personal and decisive symbols of your love/relationship/friendship/superiority in selflessness.
Obviously the poor soul stuck with a bad present giver for parents/boyfriend/girlfriend/sibling/biffl/kris kringle will suffer immeasurable amounts during festive occasions, invariably dreading the exchange with the ominous knowledge of what horror is to come, masked under the guise of a happy-go-lucky object - suggested by the optimistic and non-confrontational wrapping paper. Moreover, these people are unduly familiar with the mock-grateful "ahhh, oh a ____________. I loooove it?...You shouldn't have. Really." that they are obliged to offer in response to the (accidental) product of the cruel and random disease exerted over some individuals.
For a first hand account of such a diagnosis, let us refer to exhibit A.
An acquaintance cum friend cum acquaintance (again) who each year would try and ignore the burden of their inability to give gifts, despite numerous pleas and attempts from friends to dissuade them from following their distorted idea of a good present and instead amend the situation by just giving money for god sake. Some real gems include bed sheets, clothing taken from a storage box in their home and cheap, skanky jewellery.
I regret to inform you this individual is still suffering from this condition and has not yet been rehabilitated.
Another example of a less harrowing strain of this condition are those individuals who simply cannot fathom the concept, let alone perform the act of surprise gift giving. Exhibit B.
The, "I mean well but who gives a shit about the gift giving process?" friend who thinks that handing over a wad of cash and standing by while you try stuff on is sufficient as a heartfelt present. This 'flight' state of conscious where one chooses to omit the, seemingly, demeaning task of risking a failed evaluation of the relationship shared between themselves and the gift receiver indicates a strong sense of pride and reputation too valuable to be jeopardised at the risk of giving a crappy gift. My knowledge of such people reveals that this condition is nurture rather than nature related, and is instilled from childhood by the parents/relatives of the individual.
Not only is this upheld by those subjects suffering from a gift giving handicap, but those who embrace celebrations requiring gift exchanges wholeheartedly. Exhibit C.
The defender and gate keeper of surprise presents, who wakes up at the crack of dawn on christmas even though they are 17. Who stores gift ideas throughout the year and prides themselves on executing a successful and fulfilling present. They know the incomparable value of receiving lots of wrapped up packages with your name on it.
One such individual I know who possesses such qualities appears to have had this instinct cultivated from an early age and ingrained in their moral upbringing, taught to carry on the tradition that has been respected in the family for generations.
If you, or some one you know appears to suffer from any of these symptoms during the lead up to christmas in the gift buying period;
A sense of inconsolable trepidation.
Anxiety, shortness of breath, dizziness, lightheadedness.
The urge to consume copious amounts of alcohol.
Hallucination.
Extreme irritability and/or mood swings.
Depression.
Confusion.
An inability to concentrate.
Phobia of ribbons, sparkles, collages of bright colours, christmas decorations or colour combinations involving red, white and green.
Consult your nearest adult, confidant or christmas gift guide catalogue.
Try to remember, you are not alone, and help is available.
haha legend on the last line...giggled to myself :)
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