Monday, November 22, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
until then
Okay so,
I just read that last post, and I thought, "in ten days I am going to be eighteen and a woman and I should probs suck this childish shit up and start acting my expected age."
Do you remember being told "act your age, not your shoe size." I remember that. My friends dad use to say it to us allll thhheee tiimmmee. Along with, "were you born in a tent?" when we didn't shut the door. Now that I think about it that would have probably pissed me off too. Like insanely.
Anyway for the record my shoe size is 9. My sister is 9, but I don't know her shoe size.
The worst thing is... yep we sure do have similar traits. We both can't take what we dish out, we both over exaggerate and dramatize everything and I am a self confessed sooky la la. This is like, half of what I'm supposed to be.
Okay eighteen, I expect to be demure, ambitious, sultry, confident, self assured, able to spell, clever and beautiful and capable. And to know things. Yeah nah, if there was a turning eighteen test I would FAIL. But luckily, like VCE, whatever you try you cannot fail whatsoever. Sick. But you will just get ranked. Low. Real low. Scum low. Thats pathetic low and disappoint your parents and disgrace your name. Love it.
I really feel being seventeen for a few more months would not go astray. That might be a good present that I forgot to put on my list that is stuck on the fridge. Along with my super good I.D that was unjustly taken away from me. Maybe if that bouncer was not a prick I would not hold a grudge. In my thoughts my tongue is stuck out. Not even my sister does that.
Its like this, I want to be skinny or whatev and I just ate my weight in everything (thanks family birthday dinner) and I'm blaming my lack of self control on my FOOD and not mySELF. If I was a proper eighteen year old I would just know what I eat and what I don't eat and be done with it.
When I grow up i'll let you know.
Until then I am just going to make myself feel better with Tic Tacs. I've got 10 days.
I just read that last post, and I thought, "in ten days I am going to be eighteen and a woman and I should probs suck this childish shit up and start acting my expected age."
Do you remember being told "act your age, not your shoe size." I remember that. My friends dad use to say it to us allll thhheee tiimmmee. Along with, "were you born in a tent?" when we didn't shut the door. Now that I think about it that would have probably pissed me off too. Like insanely.
Anyway for the record my shoe size is 9. My sister is 9, but I don't know her shoe size.
The worst thing is... yep we sure do have similar traits. We both can't take what we dish out, we both over exaggerate and dramatize everything and I am a self confessed sooky la la. This is like, half of what I'm supposed to be.
Okay eighteen, I expect to be demure, ambitious, sultry, confident, self assured, able to spell, clever and beautiful and capable. And to know things. Yeah nah, if there was a turning eighteen test I would FAIL. But luckily, like VCE, whatever you try you cannot fail whatsoever. Sick. But you will just get ranked. Low. Real low. Scum low. Thats pathetic low and disappoint your parents and disgrace your name. Love it.
I really feel being seventeen for a few more months would not go astray. That might be a good present that I forgot to put on my list that is stuck on the fridge. Along with my super good I.D that was unjustly taken away from me. Maybe if that bouncer was not a prick I would not hold a grudge. In my thoughts my tongue is stuck out. Not even my sister does that.
Its like this, I want to be skinny or whatev and I just ate my weight in everything (thanks family birthday dinner) and I'm blaming my lack of self control on my FOOD and not mySELF. If I was a proper eighteen year old I would just know what I eat and what I don't eat and be done with it.
When I grow up i'll let you know.
Until then I am just going to make myself feel better with Tic Tacs. I've got 10 days.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
suburban incarceration
O
h
M
y
G
o
d
.
So many things are going on today because its my Mum's birthday. And it's weird because its like mid week and usually things do NOT happen on Wednesdays. Evah.
The phone is always ringing and I'm going to bake a cake. My sister has gone to school and we are going to send a parcel. Normal things, right? But they are all weirdly related and look like they have an agenda because they come under the sub heading of 'mums birthday'.
On this glorious day, which we appreciate more because the sun is out on the day of my mothers birth, I feel like I can look at myself and see what person I am.
I feel like a normal, greatful person stuck inside a short tempered persons life. Like, I hate this house that I live in, and find myself having to justify my hate to TOTAL STRANGERS that drive you home from netball when you fill in. "oh yeah thats my house down the end of the street, oh haha [polite laugh], yes well my parents are waiting to build. they didn't want to move. my brother was going to move. well we use to live in a good house."
God it sounds so desperate. And I know that the people don't give a shit, but it just comes out. I (not even secretly or discreetly) wish that we never moved from 'the mansion' - friends christened it, not us - and that when people drove me home they could still marvel over the red door and that we lived in the big house opposite the golf course. And I would be constantly greatful that I had like more than 1cm squared to myself.
Doing it again, I realize that.
So even though so many good things are happening, and I've been lucky all my life, I still get the urge to bang my head on this computer table and wait for the day that I am rewarded for this mother fucking penance.
The only thing I have learnt, the only thing, is that no good and selfless deed goes unpunished.
If you ever get the opportunity to kick and scream and tantrum to prevent something you don't want from happening, I beg you. DO IT.
If not for your own good for the good of others.
Never lend your things to friends, because eventually someone will break into their car and take it.
Don't help people with their homework.
And never, NEVER give selfish bitches the benefit of doubt. Because instead of 'another holiday in Bali!', you end up down $200 and in Surfers. Actually, hold that thought, because at this stage I'm still not sure if its a blessing in disguise.
But jeeze, I know that I sound like that song where the guy complains about his hard life being male middle class and white. I got it easy, nobody prejudices against me, my home is not being destroyed by companies who kill orangutans habitats for palm oil.
Oh my god, I am Emma Woodhouse ala Jane Austen.
h
M
y
G
o
d
.
So many things are going on today because its my Mum's birthday. And it's weird because its like mid week and usually things do NOT happen on Wednesdays. Evah.
The phone is always ringing and I'm going to bake a cake. My sister has gone to school and we are going to send a parcel. Normal things, right? But they are all weirdly related and look like they have an agenda because they come under the sub heading of 'mums birthday'.
On this glorious day, which we appreciate more because the sun is out on the day of my mothers birth, I feel like I can look at myself and see what person I am.
I feel like a normal, greatful person stuck inside a short tempered persons life. Like, I hate this house that I live in, and find myself having to justify my hate to TOTAL STRANGERS that drive you home from netball when you fill in. "oh yeah thats my house down the end of the street, oh haha [polite laugh], yes well my parents are waiting to build. they didn't want to move. my brother was going to move. well we use to live in a good house."
God it sounds so desperate. And I know that the people don't give a shit, but it just comes out. I (not even secretly or discreetly) wish that we never moved from 'the mansion' - friends christened it, not us - and that when people drove me home they could still marvel over the red door and that we lived in the big house opposite the golf course. And I would be constantly greatful that I had like more than 1cm squared to myself.
Doing it again, I realize that.
So even though so many good things are happening, and I've been lucky all my life, I still get the urge to bang my head on this computer table and wait for the day that I am rewarded for this mother fucking penance.
The only thing I have learnt, the only thing, is that no good and selfless deed goes unpunished.
If you ever get the opportunity to kick and scream and tantrum to prevent something you don't want from happening, I beg you. DO IT.
If not for your own good for the good of others.
Never lend your things to friends, because eventually someone will break into their car and take it.
Don't help people with their homework.
And never, NEVER give selfish bitches the benefit of doubt. Because instead of 'another holiday in Bali!', you end up down $200 and in Surfers. Actually, hold that thought, because at this stage I'm still not sure if its a blessing in disguise.
But jeeze, I know that I sound like that song where the guy complains about his hard life being male middle class and white. I got it easy, nobody prejudices against me, my home is not being destroyed by companies who kill orangutans habitats for palm oil.
Oh my god, I am Emma Woodhouse ala Jane Austen.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
telltale.
IN FEBRUARY I BROUGHT A FORTUNE BRACELET.
Feb the fourteenth, to be precise. I'm pretty sure it claimed to act as some sort of fortune magnet when you put it on, and then eventually when you have accumulated a sufficient amount of fortune, thus becoming fortunate, it falls off. And only in the last week has my bracelet began to deteriorate and maybe fall of in the near future. But to be honest I'm a bit hazy on what it really indicates.
Is it like, you have had enough fortunate things happen to you? You have reached the maximum number of fortunate situations and are no longer allowed assistance (if more is required go and pay $2 for another one). Or is it that you are now fortunate, and will continue to be? Maybe its just tricking you into perceiving the events of your life differently?
I don't know if I am any more fortunate than I was any number of months ago.
Like, there are so many fluctuating things going on all the time, how do you know which is better than the others? If it rains and ruins your day, is it fortunate because its an indication that the world is not turning to a burning hunk of shit because of global warming?
Fortune bracelet, tell me... will the proof be in the pudding or is the beauty in the eye of the beholder goddamn it.
Nevertheless, I suggest you invest $2 in this little universal talisman. Because, if anything it tricks you into being more susceptible to stumbling across happy, if relatively small in the grand scheme of things, that go on in your own life.
And you feel precious and lucky, and like your life is imbued with beauty and rarity, if only temporarily. Even if its just because the sun got up with you today, and when it set it made a pretty colour on the pavement.
Feb the fourteenth, to be precise. I'm pretty sure it claimed to act as some sort of fortune magnet when you put it on, and then eventually when you have accumulated a sufficient amount of fortune, thus becoming fortunate, it falls off. And only in the last week has my bracelet began to deteriorate and maybe fall of in the near future. But to be honest I'm a bit hazy on what it really indicates.
Is it like, you have had enough fortunate things happen to you? You have reached the maximum number of fortunate situations and are no longer allowed assistance (if more is required go and pay $2 for another one). Or is it that you are now fortunate, and will continue to be? Maybe its just tricking you into perceiving the events of your life differently?
I don't know if I am any more fortunate than I was any number of months ago.
Like, there are so many fluctuating things going on all the time, how do you know which is better than the others? If it rains and ruins your day, is it fortunate because its an indication that the world is not turning to a burning hunk of shit because of global warming?
Fortune bracelet, tell me... will the proof be in the pudding or is the beauty in the eye of the beholder goddamn it.
Nevertheless, I suggest you invest $2 in this little universal talisman. Because, if anything it tricks you into being more susceptible to stumbling across happy, if relatively small in the grand scheme of things, that go on in your own life.
And you feel precious and lucky, and like your life is imbued with beauty and rarity, if only temporarily. Even if its just because the sun got up with you today, and when it set it made a pretty colour on the pavement.
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