we don't need no education

Have/do/will you ever think "why do we even have to learn that? It's not like we are going to use that piece of information later in life?"

I can tell you a good 30% of my schooling life was devoted to contemplating and lamenting this concept. And within good reason.

An 'anecdote' (there you go, another random word for personal story i picked up from high school) that aptly sums up this situation occurred when I was still to inexperienced in secondary education to actually feel the full impact of the uselessness of some lessons. Our pleasant, (haha), music teacher was lecturing us on the vitality of understanding treble or bass or something. To this, my friend and maybe the funniest person in the south eastern metropolitan area replied, "why, WHY do we have to learn about this shit? It's not like I'm ever going to use this again. It's not like some dickhead with a gun is going to come up to me and hold me at gun point and be like 'oh I'm going to kill you unless you can tell me what this symbol means.' Is it? It's not going to save my life."

Bless her.

I find the period where students are subject to the most vacuous and irrelevant information is during years 9 ad 10. Where nobody, except your adorably naive parents care about the state of your information and really how you spend your 6 hours at school is, at this stage relatively unimportant.

Like who is ever going to need to know about the vikings, or how to make a freaking proabala They should be teaching us valuable things, like playground/street lingo so you don't ever find yourself in a situation where someone slips you a pill when you thought you were getting a cookie after being offered a bikkie. Now thankfully I have never found myself in that situation, but thats no thanks to the Victorian education system, I'll tell you that much.

Or stuff like, how to upload/sync your ipod/iphone/ipad. Because it is inevitable that you will end up doing something like that for you or your parents or grandparents at some stage. And how to present shop, and dress for appropriate occasions.

Or how to suppress your cravings for baked goods.

I would've benefited plenty from that lesson.

But you know what. Lets be fair. Because my life lessons have taught me diplomacy and to observe situations from an objective standpoint, let us consider the beneficial lessons of formal education. One such example is learning the art of bullshitting your way around a question, and answering vaguely and indirectly yet getting the result you want. Another lesson I fully and gratefully attribute to my schooling is my ability to be able to untangle electrical cords and find the sources of them. Without those worksheets that ask you to follow the lines that are scrambled with your pencils I may not be the technologically comfortable person I am today.

Sex ed. Thats a given. Thank you for sex ed, for teaching us about STD's and babies and bodies and things you would die before asking your parents.

And actually, now that I think about it, all that random information I have retained from school is actually pretty good to bring up in conversations when you want to sound cultured and educated and refined.

Without which, I may find myself betraying a grievous amount of my inner bogan/immature baby.

Quelle catostrophe!

todays love

Sometimes I want to ask "where do you think this is going?"

Not to be demanding or demeaning or critical at all, but just because I am genuinely (and impartially) curious. I'll confess, I never do because I'm worried of the answer. I'm not scared of hearing "nowhere fast" but of placing undue emphasis on the destination and not the journey.

So think about it. If you knew how your relationship was going to end, be it 5 years or 5 days into the future, would you leave now and spare yourself the waiting? That would be the practical thing, wouldn't it, because this isn't the love thats going to be permeant. Not the love that will tie up all loose ends. Not the one that you were aspiring to.

But does that make it any less valuable or precious?

I mean, lets be honest. Life is generally shit. Whether its bad luck, karma, coincidence or mistakes its hard to sustain a smile on your face for more than a few days at a time. And if you can you are an insincere liar with an agenda.

The happiness generated from relationships is so powerful it can change people. It can loosen their morals, betray their families, de-rail the teachings of religion, break habits and suppress appetites. Why would anyone want to forfeit these unparalleled emotions just because its not the love thats going to be recognised by the state.

Even if you discover that there are only 15 days of bliss left for you and your (perhaps) temporarily beloved, shouldn't you relish in the euphoria of what is between you for those last days?

It only matters that it makes you happy. For this day, for this hour, this minute. This one second.

Today I'm happy.

the bed you made

talk to me about regret.

talk to me about mother fucking regret because I can educate you like no one can.

It starts with falling from euphoria.

Failing your better judgement and the normal perimeters of your boundaries.

Its sustained by speculation. And judgement. The kind of judgement you would pass if it was roles reversed.

And then its all pity, prose, nonsense, devastation, ignorance, idiocy, trashiness, self disrespect and damage from there on out.

Your that person you didn't want to be.

It ends in reminders and awareness. Hindsight and its constant backlash.

And something unfortunate. Like excess and deficit.

I know everything. That damp, sick feeling in your stomach and the back of your throat. Wishes. Prayers that you are able to wake up from this nightmare. Paranoia, when you hear anything thinking those whispers are publicly taking apart you.

You think for one minute that maybe being reassured that there are people that love you regardless will take the edge off. But the forgiveness of others just makes it harder for you to forgive yourself. You cant love someone who would do this to you.

You are the one keeping that photo reel turning in your mind. Putting those actions on repeat. Hooking yourself up to that drip of a slow release dose of anguish. Your playing the good cop and the bad cop interrogating yourself.

You are guilty.

i regret sloth, bingeing, not respecting myself, not being more considerate of others, complaining about not having to spend time with family and having to miss a party, my indecisiveness, ignoring something beautiful, holding my tongue, vanity, greed and being superficial.

I know you have to make your own mistakes. But take the road less travelled and dont end up a mess.

on your marks

So we are way well into 2011. Blogging has been slack. I have binged about 20 thou times already, thrown a few tantrums and am broke. Like, in debt without a cent in my wallet.

La la la laaaaarve you 2011.

Nah actually i'll take that back, (if we can allow that very childish move to absolve that naive statement). Alriiight, 2011 lets be honest. It is not your fault that I am in a bit of a compromising situation. It's actually mine own, that is, lack of self control, immaturity, laziness, appetite, material conscious ect. I cant believe people my age enter a new year, and each year beg for the new to bring prosperity, happiness, luck and strength to carry on with their resolutions and for them not to dissolve with their hangovers whilst being devoured along with a mountain of carbs. Fucken carbs.

But later on only to realise that the same old bullshit occurs because they are in the same longing and forlorn state of mind and will not change.

Passivity is killing us slowly. And giving us a shitty year. Not actually the date or chinese zodiac.

Hows that for new years wisdom. cheeaahh.

And besides, 2011 has actually impressed me somewhat. Specifically, the amazing new years celebration that ill admit I was a little bit sceptical about. Also that my phone plan can be updated and is pretty incredible now. And I didn't even have to do anything. I've already found a sick $20 sale and I baked a cake today that was scrumptious. I got a late birthday present, have finished an entire cross word (not on my own) and 2 sudoku's - solo, might I add - and finished a book in a day.

My only resolution, as it is, is to take it one day at a time.